Anxiety with a capital A!

In the book of Ecclesiastes God talks about a season for every activity. Man-am I in a season right now. I have lots of activity, and lots of anxiety. God must be talking to me. As I write this I have a rumbly in my tumbly because this week begins the week of big changes, and my tummy gets nervous with big change.

Two years ago we moved to our home here in Eastlake. It was so exciting for Shan and I to move into our first home. I was super pregnant so I loved moving in because basically I just bossed everyone around and waited for our furniture to be delivered. The only down side to that was I was going to be commuting about 40 minutes each way to work. In my heart I knew that some how things would have to change. Then we had Noah, and he rocked our world. I mean he is amazing, hilarious, and the perfect blend of Shannon and I. Sometimes we just trip out about how Noah came from both of us. Back on track-so I have been really praying about trying to figure out how to work down here, so that once Noah goes to school we would be on the same schedule. I LOVE my job, and I LOVE Montgomery but I knew that eventually for our families sanity I would need to work closer to home.
Thus the season of-praying, and waiting for the Lord to give me the balls to look into switching districts.


Then last school year I started looking into switching districts. I learned that I would lose all my tenure, take an initial pay cut, and that it is virtually impossible to get into the districts down here by my house. I talked with numerous teachers, neighbors, and even the human resource department and got no where. So I emailed a principal at one of the two elementary schools in my neighborhood and asked if I could be on the SSC (school site council) as a community member. It's a committee that goes over school budgets, overseas school events, and the other school committees have to report to the SSC. He graciously allowed me to join.
Thus the season of-sitting silently, listening, and learning about my neighborhood schools. God is pretty funny because if you know me-I am not quiet. This was a particularly difficult season for me to accept.

This school year I continued on the SSC. Every week I would check the job boards and there was nothing. Then the news came out about all the budget cuts and layoffs. I had been with my school for 9 years and even I was being excessed. I was told I was being excessed in February. It was upsetting but I knew that I had to just trust and be patient. Then in April my principal called me and said that I would be able to stay at Montgomery. I was so excited and happy!
Thus the season of celebrating and breathing a sigh of relief!

There are two school districts down here. One is elementary, and the other is the middle/high schools. Once spring break was over the job boards were released. I just looked at them for fun to see what was out there...There was nothing in the middle/high school district except math and science. We all know that if I taught math the students would be officially dumber, plus I am not certified to teach it. However there were 80 positions in the elementary district. I decided to see what would happen if I applied for them. I wasn't really into it because I love middle school and the thought of teaching elementary kids was not pleasant. I mean I would totally make them cry. I felt the holy spirit telling me it was time and to trust God. So I applied for 19 upper elementary positions cursing the whole time.
Thus the season of obeying.

About mid May I started getting phone calls, and going to interviews. In my heart I was doing this for my son, but I kept begging God for the plan. I went to 6 different interviews, and at every one of them I would pray for discernment before hand. Every time I could not see myself working there, or I would turn down the position. I figured that I would use the experience of interviewing to get my name out there and get a feel for the district. Then it happened. There was a post for a 7th grade English position. I was baffled as Chula Vista is a elementary district and all the schools at k-6. This position was perfect and the school was exactly one mile from my house. I immediately applied and didn't hear a thing for 1 month.
Thus the season of-listening, chill out, shut up, and stop worrying.

Then I was in my car and got a phone call. Of course I illegally answered my phone and almost screamed when they asked my to come in the next day for an interview. The next morning I went got to the interview and heard that they were interviewing about 40 others for this position. The panel had 10 women, and they told me I had 20 minutes to answer the 8 questions. My heart was pounding so loud, and I was a sweaty mess. They kept me in the interview for 56 minutes. Then the principal called me two days later and offered me the job.
Thus the season of-sweatin it out, and rejoicing.

Then the anxiety kicked in. I would have to leave my school, lose my tenure, tell my boss, take a pay cut, and most importantly tell my kids. My new principal knew what a sacrifice I was making so she called me in for a special meeting and told me that she would do whatever it took for me to feel comfortable accepting the new position. She even told me that Noah would be able to come to school here. I couldn't believe it. Last week as the news started to spread around school I started getting really sad. My students started crying, I was crying, and stressed out. Plus I started packing 10 years of teaching and storing it in my garage. I did take the time to make a cute new sign for my classroom.
Thus the season of-sadness, and a achy back from moving.


This week is my last week at Montgomery. My last day is on Thursday, and I start at my new school on Friday. No summer break for me as school starts on July 20th. This new job is too perfect for me. I am literally starting a new middle school within a school-the team of teacher's and I are going to be trailblazers. It is every teacher's dream to start a school from scratch. I am beyond excited about it, but I will definitely be leaving a piece of my heart behind. I have alot of anxiety about the new changes. Will I make new friends at my new school? Will they like me? What are my students like? What the heck am I going to teach and how am I going to teach it? When will the construction be done so I can move into my new classroom? (I will be more than happy to accept helpers for move in day)
Thus the season for-dreaming, questioning, sleepless nights, and saying goodbye.

So I got this brilliant idea that I would ride my bike to school. Shan got me a bike this weekend, and I named her Tiffany. I rode it home from the Trek store, and then today I did a trial run to work. I rode there and back in 21 minutes. It was hard. There is a big hill, and I was super sweaty when I got home. I should look great at work all sweaty. I will be known as that crazy granola teacher that sweats alot.
Thus the season of-getting my butt in shape.

I am really excited and scared and I am sure that I will be blogging about my new adventures at my new school. It is so exciting and I feel so blessed. I told someone the other day that I couldn't even have written this teaching position for myself because it is too perfect. I do know that it is going to be a great adventure.

Ecclesiastes 3

¹ There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

There is also a time for eating pizza on a stick!

a love letter.

At the end of every school year I find that I get a little sad. As a teacher, I get super attached to my students. They are like an extended family to me. On the first day of school I always tell them that we are a family and that we are stuck together. They may roll their eyes at me but my students know that our classroom is a safe, fun, creative, and crazy environment. We support each other, make each other laugh, and even cry together sometimes. Here is a sprinkling of my kiddos....

I call this group the asian invasion. They are my 7th graders that I have had the honor of teaching for the past two years. I love them so much. Hieu and Kenny just may be the smartest boys I have ever taught. Hieu is ever the overachiever and cannot even stand being on vacation because he feels that he always has to be learning. Kenny is so silly one second, and the next he is downright serious. Naufal literally races me to class everyday. This class meets after lunch and Naufal always finds me in the teacher's lounge to walk me to class except he likes to race me. He wins everyday. (wink, wink) Jackie is so inquisitive. He loves to ask questions. Josh just likes to giggle. My girls are so sweet. Sarah has been here two years, yet speaks perfect English and her video blogs are hilarious. Kaitlin and Josie are the cutest little girlfriends and they have really blossomed over the past two years. They are amazing writers. Samantha is the tall beauty that is so shy but extremely deep. She once wrote an essay that made me speechless. The asian invasion is amazing-I don't know what I will do when they are 8th graders.

Cassandra is so passionate. This year has been extremely difficult for her as her mother was murdered. It was on the news and made big headlines. She was so resilient through it all. This is a young lady who writes brilliant poetry and recites it with tears streaming down her eyes. I have really pushed Cassandra this year because I believe in her potential.

Antonia is my little Taylor Swift! She is amazing. This year at our class holiday party she brought her guitar and serenaded us the whole time. It was outstanding. She started out the year barely speaking, and now she is singing, and making the class laugh. Antonia is a 4.0 student that is serious, but has such a playful side.

Max is amazing!!! I can talk books with this kid, movies, video games, and life. He is mature beyond his years, and I can only hope that my little Noah would be as awesome as Max. This kid got me into The Hunger Game series and he continually challenges me to be a better teacher. He is a natural leader, has integrity, and his laugh is awesome.

Jacqueline is my little sweetheart. Every morning she comes in and says, " Good Morning Mrs. Childress". Her little face makes me melt. On top of that she still makes me crafts, and draws me pictures at an age in middle school where other kids think that is nerdy. Her gentle spirit is a welcome breath of fresh air in a crazy silly boy dominated class.

Karamel is my creative inspiration! This girl comes to school everyday with some kind of outfit or accessory that she has made. I am jealous of her style, her chill attitude, and brilliance. She is a friend to everyone and not afraid to be original.

OMG! Will and Michael. These two are mischievious, and always in trouble. They get in trouble with their parents, the teachers, the admin, just about any adult-yet they are hilarious and I love them. They are true buddies. They beg me to sit together all the time. They have taught me that true friends really stick together.

they say a picture is worth a thousand words...

As I was cleaning up my computer the other day I ran across some pictures that literally made me laugh out loud. The following pictures are mischievous, silly, and have a hilarious story behind them. Everyone should document those moments that make you immediately have a fit of giggles, or make you want to call your friend and say...remember when we..

sexually harassed teachers on the 8th grade cruise?

I bought that amazing tee shirt to show you my love, but it back fired because everyone thinks I am a lesbian.

We went to an 18 year old's 80's birthday party and danced and had more fun than the 18 year olds?

We rolled deep like mexicans riding in a trailer after a hot day in Lousiana?

We were the water wenches, laundry ladies, and grocery gals on the house rebuilding trip in Lousiana?

I took this picture to Costco and printed wallets and gave them to all my gals!

You got the ultimate nanny photo!

I came upstairs to the ultimate surprise of my boys taking a bath.

We threw you the best divorce/panty party ever!

Seriously-this pic doesn't do the fun zone justice. Just know that it is fantastic.

Rayna at Regula's wedding-stole mass quantities of bubbles and literally fell out of the chair laughing...talk about a pee your pants moment.

I realized that every time there was a wedding, or girlie get together I have at least one photo of wine spillage, or beer spillage on a pretty dress:)

We went on a cruise- Wooooooooo-hoooooooo! That filipino dude could jam some journey!

We went on the shortest camping trip ever.

My shoes broke in china town and you bought me blue flip flops from Walgreens, and this guy was thrilled.

Random dudes sang to you and we were slap happy and sleep deprived in New York.

You drew a series of chocolate mustaches on me-thus our love for the mustache.

We went camping ONCE and all of sudden we were going to buy a chinook or a yert. Plus we did a starbucks run in the morning.

I have a confession to make...

I HATE GIRLS! Girls are annoying, they’re petty, full of drama, and I have no time for them. They cry, get even, are moody, and tell secrets. They always compare body types “oh you are so skinny”, “where did you get that _______(item of clothing)?” or “I wouldn't eat that.” They are competitive, judgemental, gossipy, and sometimes downright bitchy. I don’t need girlfriends. I mean- I have sisters...they are the ultimate girlfriend because they have no choice but to stay your girlfriend whether you like it or not. Then I got married and I had to deal with the girls in Shannon's family (that's a whole different blog), and now they are my girlfriends. Girlfriends for family is like community service*-you may not like it but it's good for you.

BUT I secretly love girlfriends, and all that it entails-I just hate to admit it. I mean I cannot even make up some of the stuff I have experienced with my girlfriends. Seriously.

College = Cows catching on fire, Airbands, naked sledding, amy grant vs. def leppard, late night krispy kreme runs, foster park, sixteen candles, backne, the escort, Misty, Jasmine, papa johns, 357 1/2 French ave, tattoos, west central...

California=pushing full grocery carts down a highway with groceries for 30 kids and getting picked up by some random guy with a limo, hot walks of shame in Vegas (not what you think), “camping”, airbands, mexican boyfriends, the fun zone, monty duke, getting tattoos, pampered chef drive byes, LIPS, heavenly the non stripper…this list goes on and on.

I mean weddings, having babies, birthdays and graduations are always nice memories but the real memories are the ones that make you pee your pants. Or maybe I am the only one that pees my pants. BUT the pee your pants memories are my absolute favorite.

Whenever I have started a new phase in my life I go into it reluctantly and think- I have enough friends. I don’t need any more. I am 33, and have all the friends that I need. But then something magical happens, and I meet “ her." I have to be “her” friend. I realize that I want to make pee your pants memories with “her.” Thus the girlfriend process begins again.

I always joke that I have that one token friend-the Mexican, the Jew, the lesbian, the conservative, the liberal, the bible banger, the atheist, the sprinky….but that just goes to show that I love to pee my pants with just about anyone. I am so thankful for the diverse group of ladies in my life. So there I said it….I hate you but I love you and I just want to pee my pants with you.

* I have never done community service.

Lists...

Who doesn't love a list? I love them. I feel successful when I get to cross stuff off that I have on the list....maybe sometimes I even write things on my list just to cross them off to feel successful. I also tend to write my friends notes via lists...it's succinct, simple, and sassy. Here is my list for today.

1. Buy Father's day gift-check
2. Go to the grocery store for dinner stuff-check
3. Wear my mexican mumu out to the mall-check
4. Take Noah to buy a cookie-check
5. Start a blog-check
6. Have a three way phone call with my ladies-tori and heav-check
7. Do the laundry-check
8. Have a good poop-
9. Participate in a dance party with Noah-check
10. Snuggle with Shannon

As you can see I have had a pretty productive day...