I have a confession to make...

I HATE GIRLS! Girls are annoying, they’re petty, full of drama, and I have no time for them. They cry, get even, are moody, and tell secrets. They always compare body types “oh you are so skinny”, “where did you get that _______(item of clothing)?” or “I wouldn't eat that.” They are competitive, judgemental, gossipy, and sometimes downright bitchy. I don’t need girlfriends. I mean- I have sisters...they are the ultimate girlfriend because they have no choice but to stay your girlfriend whether you like it or not. Then I got married and I had to deal with the girls in Shannon's family (that's a whole different blog), and now they are my girlfriends. Girlfriends for family is like community service*-you may not like it but it's good for you.

BUT I secretly love girlfriends, and all that it entails-I just hate to admit it. I mean I cannot even make up some of the stuff I have experienced with my girlfriends. Seriously.

College = Cows catching on fire, Airbands, naked sledding, amy grant vs. def leppard, late night krispy kreme runs, foster park, sixteen candles, backne, the escort, Misty, Jasmine, papa johns, 357 1/2 French ave, tattoos, west central...

California=pushing full grocery carts down a highway with groceries for 30 kids and getting picked up by some random guy with a limo, hot walks of shame in Vegas (not what you think), “camping”, airbands, mexican boyfriends, the fun zone, monty duke, getting tattoos, pampered chef drive byes, LIPS, heavenly the non stripper…this list goes on and on.

I mean weddings, having babies, birthdays and graduations are always nice memories but the real memories are the ones that make you pee your pants. Or maybe I am the only one that pees my pants. BUT the pee your pants memories are my absolute favorite.

Whenever I have started a new phase in my life I go into it reluctantly and think- I have enough friends. I don’t need any more. I am 33, and have all the friends that I need. But then something magical happens, and I meet “ her." I have to be “her” friend. I realize that I want to make pee your pants memories with “her.” Thus the girlfriend process begins again.

I always joke that I have that one token friend-the Mexican, the Jew, the lesbian, the conservative, the liberal, the bible banger, the atheist, the sprinky….but that just goes to show that I love to pee my pants with just about anyone. I am so thankful for the diverse group of ladies in my life. So there I said it….I hate you but I love you and I just want to pee my pants with you.

* I have never done community service.