9 years...

Most people remember and celebrate milestone anniversaries such as a first kiss, first date, an engagement and of course the anniversary. However my favorite anniversary in our love story is Shannon's clean and sober birthday.  9 years ago today Shannon made a radical choice to get clean and sober. It was monumental in every way. So yes you can do the math...this year we will have been married 7 years but together for 10. I was with Shannon during the darkest days in his life. He is not the man that I dated, or even caught my eye. He is a million times better.

When we were dating I thought that Shannon was an awesome boyfriend because he always gave me my space. We'd hang out for a couple days and then I wouldn't hear from him for 3-4 days. I thought that he was just being super cool by giving me some time to myself since I was pretty independent. In my mind it was a great balance. However I eventually learned that on those days that I didn't hear from him he was busy with his own me time.  There were some really ugly moments. I was a naive midwest girl that quickly got an education on drug addiction.

After two years of craziness we broke up. We didn't speak for 6 months. I was devastated, miserable, and completely broken. I knew that I met the love of my life but he wasn't ready. Eventually our paths crossed coincidentally and we started speaking. I was getting ready to go on a missions trip to Costa Rica, and he offered to watch my dog while I was gone. When I came back he was there sitting on my porch and told me "I'm going to rehab, I'm going to be clean, and you may not love me when I am done. I may be a different person. But if you do-we will be together forever." I will never forget that moment, or that day.

The following year was full of growing pains. He started at the VA hospital, then went to  VVSD, then on to a sober living....The whole process took about a year.  He did change as he sobered up-he is more cautious with his emotions, a little neurotic, but he is even more joyful! A little after his year anniversary we got engaged on September 13th, and then married on December 16th.

Many people that know our journey know what a miracle it is. We beat the odds. We are a success story. While I know all of this I never, ever take his sobriety for granted. There are moments that overwhelm me with gratitude of God's grace and mercy. Shannon is the strongest man I know. I cannot put into words how he has changed me, or my perspective on life. I am amazed at how addiction is crippling, and life stealing, and deadly. Shannon refused to let addiction rule his life. His life is a living testimony. I cannot wait to celebrate every anniversary....next year is 10!!!! Watch out world!

He is the best dad in the world.

He is an accomplished tri-athlete.

Shannon never met a mirror he didn't like.

He's tough:)

He loves video games-nerd alert.

Typical. Obviously he has a sense of humor.

Did I mention he is super nerdy. Yes, that is a lucas film studios and he is posing next to a yoda fountain.

This pic was taken in our first place together shortly after our wedding. I love it.

He's a beast.

Shannon makes me laugh everyday. Of course my husband choose to go to a kids halloween party as a bloody clown. Awesome.

I am...

So two of my girlfriends have been doing this writing exercise and I am giving it a try....It's an I am writing assignment where you describe yourself in 4 places in your life-food, places, people and words spoken into your life.

I am- a strong coffee with vanilla flavored creamer, Chicago style pizza, a chocolate cupcake with white icing, a vegetarian sandwich perfectly crunchy with dressing, a Mexican coca cola, cheese enchiladas with black beans and rice, and pot stickers with the perfect amount of crunchy and steaminess.

I am- a blue rocking chair in a dark room comforting my baby, a freezing cold classroom full of inquiring minds,  a"train passenger" giving my ticket to my "train conductor" on a captains bed in a little boys room, a soft and squishy matress of comfort to my boys in the middle of the night, and the rolling stones beneath my feet on a morning run before the sun rises.

I am- a burp cloth to zachie, a jungle gym to noah, free entertainment, a good listener, retail therapy, reckless with my emotions or fireworks, passionate about adventure, and a connoisseur of glitter and crafting.

I am- mom, i lub you, bubbas, dude!, i like big butts,  you're driving me nuts, group hug, thanks for teaching my kid, mommy, i went potty, gimme a fist bump, high five, and blessed.

thankful for moments...

This summer has been super fun with my boys...I have loved every minute of being home for the last 6 months. The thought of going back to work in 2 weeks is painful for me. Every time I get weepy I think of moments that I am thankful for. Noah and I have bonded, potty trained, cooked,  and laughed till we almost pee our pants. We have played, learned to swim,  cooked and gone on adventures. I have been really selfish with my time knowing full well that it was temporary. I have cherished lazy mornings, bike rides, and rocking Zachie in the middle of a crazy day.  Having two boys has been a big adjustment for me. It's a struggle for me with two kiddos, but slowly I am going to get the hang of it.

This moment was life changing for me. 

1 month-so tiny at about 6.5 pounds.

2 months-starting to become alert.

3 months-all smiles.

4 months-red hair is staying, and he is the happiest baby.

I love his facial expressions. He already is giving me attitude.

Noah was in another wedding this past weekend. I didn't even prompt him to kiss me in this pic. He has me smitten.

Shan with his "dad beard".  I don't think that it is ever leaving.

Our family on the 4th at the Coronado parade.

Waiting for the fireworks.

His face just kills me.

Zachie's face is priceless. This is how we spend most mornings.

Over the past 6 months Noah has fallen in love with cars, riding bikes, fist bumps, and swimming.

Good Morning.

This was taken on the day that I came home. We have many "brother moments" and it is so awesome.